Dear Reader
Life has a funny way of happening without notice. One minute everything’s fine, and then it pulls the rug right out from under your feet. I guess the only constant is change, and most significant events in life often occur without a grand announcement. A catastrophic turning point took me on quite an adventure, but it certainly wasn’t a fun and carefully planned package tour; it was more like an impromptu odyssey that I didn’t see coming. To put it bluntly, it was more of a seismic crack in my life where everything shifted, and the ground gave way beneath me. The bottom literally fell out of my world, and nothing has been the same since.
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You see, I found the love of my life, my soulmate, at 17, married him five years later, and was blessed with two wonderful sons, beautiful homes, several cherished dogs, and let’s not leave out one bird and a few fish. Everything felt in place. Then, a watershed moment upended our happiness. Our serenity was shattered one portentous day when cancer metastasized its way into our happy world, bringing unforeseen challenges and anguish. My husband, Lawrence, was diagnosed with Glioblastoma, brain cancer. I guess it’s a testament to destiny's divergent design, how our path was suddenly and irrevocably altered by fate. The fight for life truly began, and our primal instinct to survive surged to the forefront. We faced this devastating illness together for a little over two years until he succumbed to the disease.
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After I lost him, my heartache was complicated. Numbness and rage became the dual landscapes of my grief. Some days, I felt depersonalized and moved through life mechanically as if I were living in an emotional vacuum. Other days, I was consumed with rage; the realization of a beautiful life, brutally snatched away, unjustly stolen. At my lowest ebb, I believed there was nothing left to live for. It was at that moment that I was gifted an awe-inspiring experience offering a paradigm shift in understanding; a divine intervention that illuminated a path to acceptance and genuine peace. It was a revelation to discover that the love I had for him, which seemed to be the source of my pain, actually became my power, my greatest strength.
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In the days that followed, one of the most important decisions I made was recommitting to writing; I found it to be an essential step in my healing. Yes, for many years life interceded, but I believe my dreams of writing were merely deferred, never forgotten. Ultimately, it culminated in this moment, bringing me to you today. I had no idea that one day I would write this book, my memoir, and how an extraordinary event would awaken my entire outlook and help lead me back to my authentic self again. I’m just an ordinary girl from New York, and my story is one of a pivot. "Better bend than break" aptly summarizes my experiences and resonates deeply with my narrative. It showcases how flexibility, not rigidity, ensures survival.
Navigating this period of formidable obstacles, then finally finding my way out of the other side of tragedy, has taught me that if we greet the world with an open heart, life sends us breadcrumbs of meaning; coincidences, clues, synchronicities to light our way through the darkest tempests. Grief can be a long passage, but everyone carries the inner fortitude to reach the other side, and the human heart can mend and rebuild itself after everything it has suffered. Painful endings are not final; they are catalysts for transformation and renewal. I learned the hard way how breakages and repairs are a part of life, and I found the beauty in the scars and imperfections.
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The healing journey begins with a conscious choice to embrace hope over despair, because when you cultivate positivity, joy, and growth, it provides a path to a purposeful existence. It empowers you to step into your full potential, to live a life of clarity and contribution, flourishing in the light, rather than being consumed by the shadows.
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This is my story.